It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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