I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
