Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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