You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
