I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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