My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
