i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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