And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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