She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
