I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
