Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
