I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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