Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
