Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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