just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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