:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
