Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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