It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
