i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
