I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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