I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
