sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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