Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So much Jack, so little girl.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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