The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Redeem this text for a blowjob
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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