Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
