omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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