Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
