I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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