it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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