I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
