When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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