grandma shit on top of the toilet
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
