Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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