Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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