I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
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