Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
