u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
