I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
