ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
