love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
