Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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