She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
