I'm jealous of your bromance
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Why are your pants in the freezer?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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