i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
