WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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