i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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