Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
