when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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