We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The power of my boobs compel you
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
