WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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